Episode195- Healing the Feminine Abyss

What I’ve learned is that trauma doesn’t just break us—it initiates us.

All experiences bear lessons, with a mix of varying complexities. My most harrowing experience was one of breaking open ancestral shell allowing my heart to breathe into intimacy. Wisdom often topples us to gain deeper truths.  My flaw was steeped in naviety. I romanticized the idea of an ideal love, clothed in an ideal specimen of a man. When that illusion broke, I found myself in a decade long pitch black abyss of hopelessness from which I have had to crawl and claw my way back to the light. The dangerous premise of twin flame ideology was the dugout I fell into, it is a passionately alluring trap that almost always lands the foolish into the abyss. The force that took me under was none other than my own feminine ancestral wounds. The dangerous premise of twin flame and one and only soul mate designed just for me held me hostage in a deeply twisted tale. I  opened the most sacred gateway of heart and found myself scouring the depths of the dark as prey to a cunning predator whose physical presence was entirely absent from my life. It took me a while to realize my lost time in the torturous clime that I had single handedly crawled out had changed me. In truth, he had ignited a definite glimmer of recognition, someone I knew in the distant past, beyond the realm of my feline forebears, there was a yearning inside my being that needed closure. Discounting the twin flame odyssey in no way erases the precious advent of synchronicity, the innocence of paths crossing, heartstrings flipping by divine ordinance.  When I finally opened my eyes to blinding light and refreshing zephyr, I found that my innards were recalibrated, ancestral wounds unsealed and healed, humiliation of the heart had split it wide open to be reeved and whittled into grace- forgiving the endless legacy of my feminine ancestral wounds. In truth, I now hold no fear of intimacy, nor do I have a projected need of it. When we’re willing to face the most egregious parts of our history it becomes the doorway into the gifts we carry, and those gifts become the balm of healing energy we offer others.